Am I selfish for putting up high walls for myself? for protecting myself from further damage? for keeping my heart safe?
Am I insensitive for doing something the opposite of what my heart tells me?
Am I already numb for doing all of these for the sake of my heart?
And, am I, worth it all?
Doing one thing and thinking of doing another. Deciding on this thing and regretting it later.
I don’t understand why I have the feeling that I have so much to give yet no one’s there to receive it.
I don’t understand why I have the feeling that I always feel the soft spot of other people and that I need to take care of them, even if it means not taking into consideration my very own feelings.
I don’t understand why there’s a pinch of truth in both reasons: one, deciding to protect myself and two, being selfish towards the person trying to wreck the wall.
I wish I could soon find a ladder that will help me meet those two reasons halfway.